Birthing Rehan: Part III
This baby had us all on our toes until we crossed 39 weeks, got fully active all over again and now began begging baby to come! We had been meditating every night before bed, both husband and I along with our midwife, Susanna (IRM).
I was receiving yoni steams and uterus massages from her (along with husband dear) and we were deeply engaged in the energy of birthing. Something I learned from Susanne and cherish.
We watched a few lovely documentaries that gave an entirely new meaning to the term 'contractions' and deeply embedded within me the possiblity of experiencing birth as beautiful, joyous, pain-free and perhaps even blissful. I learned to disassociate the waves from pain.
We had a couple more episodes of intense waves. The most intense one lasted about 4 hours on August 17. Something stirred deep within my being that day.
My entire being was filled with a gentle tornado like energy, swiftly moving from the crown of my head deep into my birth canal. Making me sway in concentric circles as tears rolled down my cheeks, all as I sat on my birthing ball, allowing the waves to do what they do.
In those moments I experienced the most profound sense of connection with my baby. I felt emotions that I knew to be his but were being felt within me. What a sacred connection the womb creates between mother and child. In those moments I knew he wasn't yet ready to be born. He had emotions that still needed winding up before being ready for this life.
In the following days, I let him know how much he was loved and how he had chosen this birth and woven each step of my pregnancy so neatly by his own will. I told him how powerful I believed he was and how I yearned to hold him in my arms now.
I had a dream. It was a dark night and Vasudeva was carrying Lord Krishna in basket over his head. Above his head was a board that read 26/08.
Aug 26: The sun had set and I was preparing for a warm shower. Something trickled down my thigh just as I was turning the shower on. It felt different. Susanne confirmed it was amniotic fluid. Hallelujah!
The Birthing Room had been beautifully set just earlier that evening. She was decked with bright pink fresh garlands, my favourite crystals and multiple alters to bless my little one's arrival. The birthing pool was arranged smack in the center of our sacred space, ready to be filled with just the right temperature of warm water to ease my aching muscles, relax my lower back and ease baby into earthly waters from my womb waters.
Waves continued to rise and subside all night long as my doula Sanam sat rubbing my feet and back occasionally. After as much rest as I could get through the night, Team Baby was fresh and ready while I was in an out of my lull. Mid morning, Susanne nudged me out of bed. Dazed and reluctant I gradually waddled my way through the bedroom and into the passage. It felt like the longest walk ever. By the time I got to the dining table the surges were getting really strong. Breathing through them, Sanam and Eshan supporting most of my weight, we took a pit stop on a chair.
The walking began again and gradually I reached the other end of the living room and plonked myself on the sofa. Here the surges got all the more stronger. I felt like they were going to break me. Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I began to lose myself.
Eshan made an SOS to my dear soul sister Vamini (name changed) who immediately recommended chips of ice. Oh what a saviour that was! The turning point. As each chilled chip went down the back of my throat, I was more and more in my senses.
Susanne came and sat across me at the coffee table. She spoke some loving words, most of which I don't recall any longer. Somehow they empowered me, gave me courage and put a large smile across my tear ridden face. Turning to the 2.5 foot long poster of Mother Mary hanging on our wall I looked back at Susanne as if to say to her, "it feels like She's here through you." Suddenly, there was this inexplainable, uncontrollable urge that took over me. I had never felt this before. Susanne saw it in my eyes and knew exactly what was happening. She told me what I was feeling was safe and that everything is just as it should be. I smiled. Calmed down and breathed through it.
"Do you want to give birth here?" She asked me with a gentle yet firm voice. "NO!" I responded emphatically. "Then its really time we move to the pool, NOW." said Susanne. The uphill walk began yet again. This time it truly felt like I would never make it to the Birthing Room (at the far end of the living room, across my bedroom). It must have taken about 15 minutes or what seemed like 45! I was finally just outside the Birthing Room when my body spontaneously began to push. Susanne had been holding my body from the front, while I was bent forward, walking in this absurd position with the rest of the team around us.
I held on to Susanne's shoulders (for life). [It felt like he was going to fall out, head first, onto the floor! Of course this was my first-time-mommy jitters. Now I know better, they don't just slip out! Thank heavens for that!] And I pushed like there's no tomorrow. As we tided over that one, my amazing doula, Sanam and Susanne rushed me to the Birthing Room. Eshan was ready to help me in. But the pool was just too high. I had no idea how I would get in. So we all stood there staring for a moment. Then, in came a 6 foot ladder, holding Eshan's hand I climbed the first 3 stairs. Eshan this time in the pool, supported me as I finally made it in. What a long ride!
Eshan and I settled into the pool and for the first time my body just relaxed. My muscles as if to melt into the warm water. Stuti (my friend and amazing photographer) ensured the water was kept warm throughout. Oh what would I have done without her! Our birthing playlist played in the background as the waves and urges began rising once again. Sanam holding fort behind me, Susanne outside the pool and beside me, Eshan right in front. "Here we are!" I remember thinking. This is the moment all this was done for. It's time for this little
cherub to find his way into our arms. A flurry of excitement and the feeling that I can do this washed over me. Stuti made herself invisible, an amazing super power she possesses! This was my tribe and I was bare and as vulnerable as can be before each of them. No more no less. Raw and fully me. Not a single mask can stand the test of childbirth.
Sweat and tears filled the moments that followed. My body expanded and adjusted to let this being out of me. I was exhausted. I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted him out. The hot water had Eshan breaking a sweat (or maybe it was me!). His glasses slid to the tip of his nose, but little R was crowning. So his hands were gently nuzzled beneath my hips. The song on our playlist switched to a number we used to call "our song" many moons ago.
Tears of nostalgia quickly turned into a chuckle as I stretched my index finger close enough to nudge his glasses up his nose bridge just enough.
There must have been some magic to that push of the glasses up his nose, for with the next couple of pushes Rehan was out in Eshan's arms! And just like that we were three!
Wailing in a robust voice, he was placed on my chest. Overcome with so many emotions, I cried and laughed all at once. Smiling at our perfect little bundle we stared it him with loving wonder. I was in awe of how my body had created such a wonder. He was pink and perfect, head full of hair. This powerful being, so strong to have muscled his way into this world now gently rested on my chest. And this is the story of how our little boy came into this world! If you want to train your body and baby to come earth-side in your own unique yet special way, get in touch to learn the secrets that sailed us through!