Growing up, I often just wanted to be able to wave a magic wand and make all my challenges disappear into stardust. By the time I was 10 years old, I began to realize that working through my struggles was the only way to get past them. This learning was the result of teachings from my spiritual master who was a crucial part of my upbringing from the tender age of 3. This became my spiritual backbone which helped create a strong foundation of values, practices, and ideologies that continue to mold me as an adult today.
Around 1999, She (my spiritual master) gave a talk that left a lasting impression on my being. She said, (I paraphrase) we are like a bird with two wings. One represents self-effort and the other, grace. A bird can only fly if both wings support it equally. Therefore, in order to soar, grace and self-effort must work hand in hand. Thus began my consistent self-inquiry into what I needed to do before asking for the universe to help me.
Over the years, I have harnessed this teaching along the way through various milestones in my life. It has lead to profound transformation. This is an account of only two such experiences.
Unblocking abundance (2015)
One evening I sat in contemplation about my struggle to create an abundant business out of my coaching practice. I remembered the words "self-effort" and "grace". I knew I had all the tools I needed to dislodge what stood in the way of creating a flourishing business. I created a crystal grid, invoked Reiki and sat down to uncover whatever was in the way. That evening some of the most shocking disempowering beliefs surfaced:
This cannot be a mainstream career path; and
Even I would not pay a coach as much as I want to charge my clients (so why would they!)
I was shocked by these revelations. I had to reset my belief system to support me in fulfilling my dream. So I did an angel card reading along with some grid work. Then I went deeper into a soul work session by harnessing few more techniques to unplug these beliefs. I wanted to free myself of my dependence on my corporate job and month-end salary. I wanted to work for myself, on my terms. I wanted to be able to choose to earn whatever I desired instead of being at the mercy of a corporate system that didn't fit me. And most of all I wanted to offer the world the life transforming work that had already freed me of so much. Just as it had lead me to transform some unhealthy relationships, uplift my emotional wellbeing and freed me of living a life that fulfilled societal norms without enriching me.
That nights' soul work left me feeling like I had rid myself of a childhood imprint about money being something bad to ask for. Having grown up being told never to ask for money and to be happy with what I have. This had left me with a very confused relationship with money.
The next morning, I woke up to a text message from the person who became my very first paid client. The rest is history!
Pregnancy anxiety (2018)
While planning to have Rehan, Eshan and I spoke many times of all our fears, anxieties, stresses, confusions, and limiting beliefs (about parenting and pregnancy). On two occasions, we sat down together and went through deep soul work sessions with one another. The first was on our conflict about having children. We were terrified of losing our individuality and our ability to live for ourselves. We combined his and my knowledge of the Journey, EFT, NLP, and hypnosis to work through this one and effortlessly found ourselves ready to have a baby.
As soon as we both were in sync and felt ready from within, we visited our obgyn. Some of the tips we got were to keep a track of my ovulation, keep trying at least 2-3 times a week and be patient. Next we were told it usually takes at least 3 months for a healthy couple to conceive. We both got very stressed out by this. The spontaneity and fun of the process suddenly fizzled out. It seemed like a competition with a deadline. This is not the space we wanted to conceive our baby in! After many a stressful days, one day we both sat down and agreed to address this.
Midway through our soul work process, we both reached a realization: we trusted in our (unborn) baby and our bodies to have this baby exactly when it was meant to be. So, we decided not to follow any of the advise we had received. We were not going to plan, follow the clock or do anything as per 'procedure'. Not only was this relieving but also just sat right, in our hearts. Around 40 days (from our appointment with our obgyn) we had already conceived Rehan; but wouldn't find out for another 6 weeks.
I am grateful to have had many such breakthroughs that are the result of inner-work. The deeper I go to find an answer to a problem that I can't resolve on the outside, the greater the solution I end up discovering. It's like life opens the floodgates of magic, allowing everything standing in the way of a dream coming true to be dissolved.